She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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