haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
time to smoke my breakfast
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
