oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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