The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
