So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
