wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
