well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
