i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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