He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
