Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
