your thong is hanging out like whoa
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize