I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Randomize
