no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
