Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
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