The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
