i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize