you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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