The maid of honor just puked.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
