Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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