This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
