I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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