If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
