i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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