I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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