dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize