He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
