You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
