I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
