It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize
