Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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