dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
