JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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