i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
