I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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