If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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