Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
