I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
