ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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