As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Holy shit dude........stairs
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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