we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
