He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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