The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
