We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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