Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
