why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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