You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
