Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
jump out the window naked night went bad
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
