I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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