Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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