question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
