i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
