me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
