Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.

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(808): View more from Hawaii

Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads

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(315): View more from New York

mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.

(315): View more from New York

hahahaha slap the bag.

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(316): View more from Kansas

I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.

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(204): View more from Manitoba

I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.

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