I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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