Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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