I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Sorry about my life...
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
ok first of all what the fuck
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
