Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
