That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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