The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
