return my video game
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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